


Civil War Reenactment

by Fedora Of Adorableness (TheTimelessChild0)



Series: Omovember 2020 [12]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Bladder shyness, Episode: s05e13 Diamond Exchange, Indignant Neal Caffrey, Omovember 12, Omovember 2020, Protective Peter Burke, Urination, trapped and desperate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/Fedora%20Of%20Adorableness
Summary: Complete with satellite phones.
Series: Omovember 2020 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987816
Kudos: 4
Collections: WC²





	Civil War Reenactment

Neal kicked at the rusty metal bars 3 or 4 times, to no avail. He tore his arms away from the lock frustratedly. Instead, he began slapping at the walls, self-deprecatingly.

Peter sighed in sympathy. 

“I should’ve seen this coming. Should’ve...” he hissed.

  
“You couldn’t have. She fooled all of us, and kept her distance until now,” Burke rebutted.

Caffrey continued his rant. “I should’ve known she’d go after Mozzie. I could’ve protected him,” he turned sad. 

  
“You guys only see each other off work anyways,” Peter pointed out.

Neal shook at the bars again, bending over and rubbing at his knees. 

“I should’ve  _ gone to the bathroom _ before leaving the goddamn city..” he whined.

The ASAC frowned. That sucked. 

“There’s a corner,” he reminded the con man.

“ _ No _ , thank you,” Neal rejected the notion dryly.

“Come on, Caffrey,” Peter urged him. “You’re not getting out of here like that,”

Caffrey glared at him. “I’m not getting out of here at all. If I have to wait for someone else to free us, I’ll be fine waiting for a proper restroom,” Neal stood his ground.

* * *

Neal bounced on his heels, stepped in place and twirled his hat. Then he began a slow pace. Then a quick pace. It turned quick enough for Burke to grab onto him and steer him into the corner. 

“Nope!” he continued to deny the option.

It didn’t take long for him to change his mind, though. When he shook the bars in frustration, kicked the floor and crossed his legs, leaning on the metal, Peter shot him a pointed look. He glared back.

“I’m gonna check if someone’s coming,” the agent suddenly announced, joining Caffrey at the cell door. He made it perfectly clear that he had no eyes on Neal; who rolled his eyes.  _ Subtle, Suit. Subtle. _

“Fine, just...” he waved for him to stay there, as he approached the corner. It wasn’t all that hard to get started once he got over the stiffening silence. He could sparsely call what he was doing  _ sanitary _ , but at least it was a surface that would soak it up speedily.

At one point Peter decided to look through some old texts, which made little difference, but constituted a great help nonetheless.

Neal skidded his shoe along the red sand, providing some more mud to the puddle, turning it into a more flattering sludge. 

“Why do people come here voluntarily again?”

The Suit smirked. “History,” was the answer. Neal sighed, running his hands along his face.

* * *

Neal threw rocks at a tree while Peter explained some things to the park ranger.

“Sorry it took so long to get to you guys,” Hopper apologized. “You were in there for a while weren’t you?”

“Ah, we were fine. Right, Neal?” Burke interjected. Neal nodded, ever so slightly averting his eyes. Peter patted his consultant’s back, bemused.

Ranger Alan scratched himself behind the ear, considering the gesture.

  
“Listen, this might not be all that important, but I gotta ask; that little puddle in the corner, who did that?”

Neal turned on his heel and swiftly left the conversation. The Fed stared blankly at the ranger.

“Him?”

“Yeah,”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Well, I’m sufficiently scarred for life. Can we go now?” Caffrey complained, staring at his handler.

  
“Lose the dramatics, Donatello,” Peter scoffed, turning on the car. “Don’t tell me you could’ve waited,”

“We’ll never know...” he quipped.

“I don’t need to. I know you. You made the right call. Trust me,” Burke looked at Neal sincerely. He nodded. 

“Are we done? ‘Cause I’d very much like the next bathroom I use to be my own,”

“Relax. It’s not that far to Riverside. And you know I’ll stop for you whenever,” the Suit assured him.

“I do now,”

Peter turned on the radio, to Billy Joel. The embarrassment of relieving himself right where he stood, in his suit and at the same time mercifully  _ outside _ , melted away.

They moved on. Down the country road, taking them home.

The End.


End file.
